The root cause of project delays, failures, and missed deadlines is often traced back to a single cause: a difficult (or insert adjective here) person. Difficult people get in the way of progress. They contribute to a workplace environment saddled with major time wasters: lengthy meetings discussing minutiae, circular arguments, tangential debates, non-productive discussions, and let’s not forget the ancillary meetings dedicated to getting a difficult person focused appropriately. Before we know it, a project lags behind schedule.
Although difficult people have seemingly good intentions, their work style is toxic. Below are the obvious signs of difficult people and recommendations for coaching them toward progress:
1. They frequently remind others of their tenure (or lack thereof) with the organization. Statements like, “I have been here for 20 years, so...” or “I've only been here for four months...” are typically followed with excuses for not taking action. While it’s often essential to utilize one’s expertise in decision making, a better way to mention it would be: “Based upon my experience with our company (or other companies), we could consider..."
2. They wait for others to make decisions. Declaring, “If only management would decide what we should do…” is a hallmark of inaction. Often, difficult people will involve as many other non-decision-makers as possible and lure them into the conversation as a deflection tactic. Instead, the difficult person should be direct and express any suggestions or concerns they have. They should say, “I'm going to take a recommendation to management for feedback.” Engaging the final decision maker moves things forward.
3. They find others in the company to be annoying. Difficult people might say, “Everyone else here acts like (fill in the blank)…” Statements like these suggest the real problem is in the mirror. When faced with conflicting attitudes, a better response is, “I must be doing something wrong. How can I help others succeed?"
4. They are overbearing in meetings or they choose not to participate at all. “I have to take over every meeting!” or “I have nothing to say because they won’t listen!” indicates that true collaboration is not valued. It's important that difficult people ask questions, encourage others to provide a perspective, and honor the cooperative forum. If this is an issue, ground rules for meetings, such as “silence is agreement,” are critical to forward progress. Opting for smaller in-person meetings instead of conference calls can also keep meetings concise and focused.
5. They believe they are smartest person in the room. When a difficult person says, “Nobody understands my recommendations…” it’s usually a failure to provide better explanations or the recommendations are really bad ideas. A better approach to decision making is to encourage others to ask questions and collaborate.
6. They believe their requests go unanswered. “I email requests out to the team and nobody ever responds!” is a common attitude of difficult people. They may attribute this to their intimidating intellect, but a complete lack of response is likely a problem with how their message is delivered. Requests should include at least two of the following: what’s in it for the recipient, a personal touch of kindness, and/or an explanation of the purpose of the request. It's important that, when able, people should refrain from emailing and engage face-to-face. Engagement helps build a more collaborative environment and people may share more information face-to-face versus email.
7. They do not consider their coworkers as confidants. “I can't trust anyone in this place...” is a statement no one wants to hear in a healthy work environment. Building trust is a worthy investment in the company’s culture. When trust is lost, it's important to address it and understand it in order to repair it. Taking the time to coach difficult people to engage with others helps eliminate untrustworthy behaviors.
Using these coaching points can help a difficult person discover how a few communication techniques can make a world of a difference in project success.
